The wonders of Filipino English

I must admit, having lived in Australia for nearly 15 years, I've grown out of touch with Filipino English usage. But last weekend we saw Willie Nepomuceno perform and the Filipino emcee got as acquainted again with the vernacular:

"For those of you who wish to comfort yourself, the comfort rooms are situated after the escalators..." (So people in sorrow should frequent the comfort rooms.)

"The food will be served at exactly 7pm sharp...." (It's 8pm and the main course hasn't arrived yet: Filipino time.)

"In behalf of our sponsors, I wish to thanks the following sponsors..." (Uhm, the sponsors would like to thank the sponsors.)

I need to see more Filipino shows!

-JT